Readings of the Heart
by FallingSnow7
Summary: Hisoka has been getting strange readings from Tsuzuki. Anguish being the most recognizable. Will Hisoka be able to save Tsuzuki from himself.
1. Dreams

Readings of the Heart

By:FallingSnow7

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Yami no Matsuri characters.

Tsuzuki had just woken up from a very arousing dream featuring his partner, Hisoka and himself. His breathing was irregular and his body covered in a thin sheet of sweat that glistened in the morning's mist. Beside him on another bed slept Hisoka, cuddling up into a pillow. Tsuzuki smiled and found it hard not to touch the boy. His member twitched in agitation and he knew he'd have to get out of there if he didn't want to hurt Hisoka. Crawling painfully out of bed he dressed in his usual attire, and left the inn.

The crisp morning air on his face felt like heaven and he wanted more. Unbuttoning the four of his shirt buttons, he greeted the morning happily. His bare chest became covered in goosebumps at the sudden chill but soon relaxed. He looked up into the sky, a serene graced his heavenly features. He sat down under a large tree, whose leaves had begun to turn golden and red from the change in seasons. Fall was right around the corner and it made him sad. He sat there thinking about this past. It was fall when he had been beaten and called a monster. Unknown to him his mask had slipped and replaced by a solemn smile, not one of his usual smiles. He stayed like that thinking. His thoughts wandered to his partner Hisoka and his dream from last night. He let a small smile play on his lips before it faded with the next thought. 'You're a monster. You don't deserve to love. You don't deserve to live.'

"Stop it!" Tsuzuki covered his ears and curled into himself. The words repeated in his mind. Echoing endlessly, throughout his shattered soul. He felt the scars reopen and his world was thrown into chaos once again. He didn't deserve Hisoka. He'd only hurt him. He wanted to escape, escape from the reality. He wanted Hisoka, needed Hisoka. But, he was afraid. Tsuzuki stayed there under the tree, rocking himself slightly as his eyes with unshed tears looked into the past where memories were better off being forgotten.

Hisoka awoke when he felt Tsuzuki's distress. He sat up abruptly feeling another wave of anguish. It was hitting him repeatedly like a ton of bricks. He looked to his right expecting to see the older man there having a nightmare, but was shocked to se him not there. He had expected him to be there because he was getting very intense reading from his partner. Hisoka began to panic. If he was getting this much off of Tsuzuki then the older man must have been experiencing some excruciating pain. He quickly changed and rushed out of the inn to where he felt Tsuzuki was.

He ran till he found Tsuzuki about fifteen feet away from where he presently stood underneath a tree, hands clasped tightly over his ears and a look of fear and anguish in his eyes. Hisoka never expected to see Tsuzuki like that. He called to him. He must have reached him because the next thing he saw was Tsuzuki's eyes widening and the taller man scrambling to his feet rubbing at his eyes. He smiled a fake smile and Hisoka noticed that that was the smile he had always given him, a fake smile. All this time Tsuzuki had hidden behind a false smile to keep everyone happy and away. He had even done it to him. His own partner. Hisoka had told him everything and yet Tsuzuki had stayed away, hidden behind that deceptive smile. At once he was angry. He could no longer get a reading off Tsuzuki. He had hidden himself once again. The anger soon left him when he remembered the anguish he felt and how he had seen Tsuzuki. He walked over to the taller man. As he got closer he could feel his partner's previous feeling in the air surrounding them and on the tree Tsuzuki had earlier occupied. He staggered a little from the sudden rush of intense emotions. Seeing this Tsuzuki reached out to catch him. Hisoka's hand happened to fall on Tsuzuki's chest and as a result he got another reading. This one different from the others. It was Tsuzuki's dream. A small blush spread across his face. He heard Tsuzuki call out to him. It then accrued to him that he was wrapped in Tsuzuki's arms. He roughly pushed Tsuzuki away, bringing his hand up t his heart. For a second when he heard Tsuzuki call out to him there hearts harmonized. His blush now consumed him. He was as red as a tomato. Tsuzuki staggered back and gaped at Hisoka.

"What? What is it, Hisoka?"

"I just had a reading. It was your memories." He lied. Tsuzuki laughed.

"You do that to me. It's strange. I'm beginning to remember more and more of my past. It happens more when I'm around you." He smiled looking into his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He wasn't sure why e was apologizing, but he felt he should.

"Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything. Actually I'm happy. Even though I don't like what I see I like that I'm remembering. Didn't you say once that you became a Guardian of Death to find out who killed you? I want to know how I died."

"Tsuzuki."

"When the time is right I'll tell you everything."

"Tsuzuki?"

"You're my partner. You deserve to know."

"Tsuzuki."

Said man only smiled. "Are you going to keep repeating my name or should we get to work?" Hisoka blushed and glared at the man.

"Let's get to work." He walked on ahead, ignoring Tsuzuki, who was laughing his head off.

End Chapter


	2. Monster

Readings of the Heart

By:FallingSnow7

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Yami no Matsuri.

AN: The italics are use in the dream sequence. Meaning that it is the real Hisoka speaking.

After a long day of hard investigating and exercising spirits, Hisoka and Tsuzuki returned to the inn, exhausted. Tsuzuki fell asleep instantly when his head hit the pillow.

Hisoka thought about Tsuzuki the whole day. The dream he saw of him and Tsuzuki plagued him every second. Even Tsuzuki was giving him weird looks. He wondered why had Tsuzuki been so depressed. Did he really hate the fact that it was Hisoka he was dreaming about or was he really thinking about his past? He didn't know, nor was he sure he wanted to know. He hadn't gotten a clear reading then. All he saw was the dream. But then, why? He wanted to know. Hisoka shooked his head and changed into his pajamas, a loose, oversized, white shirt and shorts. He crawled into bed giving his partner one last look before sleep claimed him too.

Hisoka was again awoken by an intense wave of anguish provided by Tsuzuki. He opened his eyes and looked at his partner who was clutching at his chest. He was arched up off the bed and tears were spewing from his closed eyes.

"Tsuzuki." Hisoka disentangled himself from his covers, falling down on Tsuzuki's bed in the process. His hand happened to fall on top of Tsuzuki and at once he was again flooded by Tsuzuki. The feelings were much more intense. He decided to find out for himself what was eating at Tsuzuki. Looking into Tsuzuki's dream he saw himself separated from Tsuzuki by a large cliff. Tsuzuki was reaching out for him and he just stood there. He had no expression whatsoever. _What's going on here?_

He watched as tears ran from Tsuzuki's violet eyes, desperate and longing to reach Hisoka. Hisoka looked back to himself. Why? Why couldn't he reach him? Why wasn't he moving?

Suddenly five children, a woman and man stood behind Hisoka. He could see and feel the fear and disbelief roll off of Tsuzuki like waves. _Who are these people?_

"Monster! You're not human! You're a monster! You don't belong here! Go back to the devil! MONSTER!" the children screamed, throwing rocks at Tsuzuki. Only the Tsuzuki that Hisoka was accustomed to was replaced by a small child version of Tsuzuki. Said boy curled into himself, using his hands to shield himself. Hisoka ran to the boy who was his partner and tried to block the rocks but they just went right threw him. _STOP IT_! he screamed, but they couldn't hear him. The man spoke next.

"Ungrateful bastard. I help give life to him and he betrays me by being this monster. How repulsive. The little monster should just die!" _That's his father?_ Hisoka noticed that Tsuzuki's father looked nothing like him. A powerful man, big, built, and his hair was white and eyes a piercing brown, the complete opposite of Tsuzuki.

"But father, I didn't mean to be this way. I'll change. Please give me another chance. I'm sorry I'm like this. I don't want to be a monster. Mother. Mother tell father." Hisoka looked back at the chibi Tsuzuki, who was now looking at the woman behind his father.

"How dare you order me around you beast!"

"Huh? But Mother?"

"I wish I had never given birth to you! My biggest regret is knowing that you came out of my body!"

"But I thought you loved me Mother. You always told me you loved me." Chibi Tsuzuki looked on in disbelief. Grief consuming him with each word that left their lips.

"Love you. Don't be ridiculous. A monster like you doesn't deserve love. You don't deserve to live. You'll never love. A monster." Now everyone chanted. Hisoka could hear glass breaking and looked back to see Tsuzuki fall apart. He clutched the sides of his head, yanking at his hair as he let the most heart-wrenching scream out.

_TSUZUKI!_

Tsuzuki bolted upright from his dream. He brought a hand up to his face only to find a paler one attached to it.

"What?" he followed the hand to an arm, shoulder, neck then head. "Hisoka?"

"You were having a nightmare so I tried to wake you up." He didn't remove his hand from Tsuzuki's, instead he sat on the bed. Tsuzuki sat up, letting go of Hisoka's hand to remove his coat and rest against the headboard. Hisoka frowned when Tsuzuki let his hand go.

"I saw you dream." He saw Tsuzuki's eyes widen. He stood up and sat back down closer to the elder guardian. He leaned forward resting his head on Tsuzuki's shoulder and reaching for the hand he lost.

"Is that how it was when you were little? Where you hated? Discriminated? Betrayed? Alone? Yearning for that one person to love you?"

"It's always been that way. I'm just meant to be alone. A monster like me doesn't deserve love." He let out a pathetic laugh.

"Don't say that!" Hisoka wailed, looking up into Tsuzuki's eyes. He jumped up and sat on Tsuzuki's lap. He grabbed him by the collar and brought him forward. "Don't say that." he whispered now, shielding his eye with his bangs, "Don't say that. Not when I'm right in front of you." Tsuzuki's eyes widened.

"What?"

"JUST DON'T SAY IT!" he yelled again, pulling Tsuzuki close and capturing his lips. The kiss was rough at first, hard and raw. However after getting over the initial shock, Tsuzuki responded and made the kiss more needy and passionate. Hisoka broke the kiss with one fluid motion with his head.

"Hisoka, why?" Said boy rested his head on Tsuzuki's well-toned chest. The grip on his collar loosened and all Tsuzuki could do was wrap his arms around the frail boy in his lap and wait for an answer.

"Because your not a monster."

"But why the kiss?"

"This morning I felt such anguish emitting off of you. That's why I went to look for you. When my hand landed on you chest I saw your dream. The one you had the night before." A bright blush stained both their cheeks. Hisoka decided to play brave and looked up into Tsuzuki's eyes. He would let his barriers down just this once and trust Tsuzuki. By doing so he hoped that tonight would be the first night of many for healing. Being bold he voiced his question.

"Do you dream about me like that a lot." The blush intensified on both of them He saw Tsuzuki's eyes grow to the size of saucers. He smiled and looked away.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what? Do you Tsuzuki? Do you dream of me like that a lot?" He wanted to know. Needed to know. Tsuzuki looked back at him and cupped his cheek. Hisoka was surprised by the raw emotions he saw there in Tsuzuki's eyes.

"Yes." Hisoka relaxed and leaned forward, closing the distance between their lips. When the broke apart he rested his head against Tsuzuki's.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"I'll admit I'm scared but, I feel I can trust you with my heart and my body."

"Hisoka?"

"You are not a monster. If you are a monster then I guess I'm one too because I am in love with this monster."

Chapter End

Next Chapter Lemon! YAY!


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